Title: Words I Don't Remember
Artist: How To Dress Well
Played: 746 times
Lupita Nyong’o accepts the Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role award for ‘12 Years a Slave’ during the 86th Annual Academy Awards
Anais Mali talks racism with intothegloss.com
"I started modeling in the South of France, where I grew up, and I would go to Paris to do jobs. But none of the modeling agencies in Paris wanted to take me. I just kept hearing, ‘This is Paris; black girls don’t work here.’ France is very racist, you don’t see a lot of powerful black people in France—it’s starting but it’s slow-moving. So I went to New York when I turned 18 on the advice of my modeling scout. When I got here, I got signed and told my agency, ‘I want Vogue’—I wanted the fashion jobs. I knew what I wanted and I asked for it! A lot of models don’t say anything; they just let people take care of them. I’m not like that. My agency kept saying, ‘Yeah, but you’re black and you’re short,’ since I’m 5’ 9 ½”, which, in fashion, is small. But my mom always told me that when you want something, you have to go get it. So I did! I’m 23 now, and I feel like the industry is trying to focus more on diversity, but there’s still a long way to go. In Milan, you don’t really see black girls on the runway; it’s sad. You hear things like, ‘We already have Jourdan [Dunn], one black girl is enough.’ I’m getting good work, I’m happy, but I want to see more black girls."
Philip Seymour Hoffman called me just before dinner on the last day of October last year. I remember the time because I was in Whole Foods grabbing groceries for my family when my phone rang, displaying a New York City area code. I answered the call in the produce aisle.
“Is this Nell? This is Philip Seymour Hoffman.”
“I know. I recognize your voice.”
Anyone would. It’s a wonderful voice—low, soothing, and a bit weary that particular night. The call wasn’t scheduled but it wasn’t completely unexpected. I was working on a profile of Amy Adams for this magazine and had requested interviews of several co-stars. Hoffman was at the top of the list, since the two had worked together three times, in Doubt, Charlie Wilson’s War, and The Master.
It’s notoriously difficult to get actors to go on record speaking about other actors. Such requests are usually met with terse replies from publicists explaining that their clients are on set and too busy to reply. Hoffman certainly had that excuse, but he’d dialed me directly. He began by apologizing for calling so late, but, he explained, he’d just gotten home from set. I told him it was fine and stalled as I fished for a pen in my purse.
“So…where are you?
“New York, just got back from Atlanta.” [He was in production on The Hunger Games: Mockingjay.]
Ah! I found a pen, but I needed paper. I ran to the bulk food aisle and grabbed one of those white bags meant for dried mangoes. I sat down on the floor and thanked him for calling. Hoffman said he was happy to talk about Amy. “I love acting with her,” he said. Later in the interview, he explained it even more succinctly: “We’re friends. We’ve talked a lot. ”
For about five minutes, he spoke of his admiration for Adams’s talent, generosity and work ethic. I scribbled furiously to keep up. Sometimes actors recite stories by rote, but every sentence Hoffman said was thoughtful. He spoke of how he believed people often misunderstood Amy. How in reality she was harder to pin down than she might seem. How she purposely kept a little mystery about herself. “And for an actor that’s good,” he said. “More should do it.”
We talked about The Master, and I was already on my second bulk-foods bag when the ink in my pen stopped flowing—the wax from the outside of the bag had gummed up the ball point. I was struck with panic. I didn’t want to bust myself for being in a supermarket so as soon as he took a pause, I stalled again.
“So did you ever sing with her?”
O.K, it was a dumb question, but I used the time to run over to the cashier area.
“Uh, no. We never sang together. I sing in The Master, but she leaves,” Hoffman said. “She’s a good singer, though.”
“Yeah. Singing factors into a lot of her movies,” I said, while gesticulating to a cashier that I needed to borrow a pen. Then I grabbed a brown paper bag—no wax—and sat down in the vitamin section.
“Can we talk about Doubt?” I asked.
“What about it?” Hoffman said.
I told him that Adams had said working with him and Meryl Streep was intimidating, and that, in rehearsals, she felt so outmaneuvered. She described the scene where Sister James (Adams) accuses Father Flynn (Hoffman) in front of Sister Aloysius (Streep): “Their intelligence, their insight, their experience … they were better than me in every way you could imagine. And I knew that,” she said.
I relayed how Adams felt herself going into “panic mode,” but Hoffman saw it differently. “What she’s admitting to is her humility,” he explained. “She’s not there yet, and Meryl and I are there, emotions spilling out all over the place, and she really stressed about that. So she’s thinking, ‘I’m not doing so well and—’”
And then the call failed. He was gone. I hit redial and got his voicemail. I dragged myself off the Whole Foods aisle floor and consoled myself that he’d already given me a lot of good quotes. I asked the cashier if I could keep the pen (in case he called back), and finished my shopping.
On the drive home, my phone rang again. It was Hoffman. I pulled over to the curb.
“Sorry. I forgot to charge my phone,” he said.
“I’m so glad you called back,” I said and reached for the pen and bag. “You were talking about Doubt and Amy struggling to find her way?”
“Right. “ He launched back in. “Look, we shot that scene until it was just right. The speech just spilled out. It’s not like other films, the writing is so much bigger. You can’t naturalize it. It’s real real drama. You have to fill it. It’s scary. And what she’s telling you is it took her a while to get there … and she did. And all the most gifted people I know do that.”
And then he paused before offering this conclusion to the story: “Great talent admits shortcomings.”
It was an amazing turn that only an actor as brilliant as Philip Seymour Hoffman could make. He took Adams’s admission of panic and turned it into a sign of humility and then into a sign of greatness. Like Father Flynn, he was able to convince me that what someone believed was actually the opposite.
Our call wrapped up soon after. I went home, put my groceries away, and rethought my entire approach to the profile based on the insights that Hoffman had given me.
When I heard about his death yesterday, his phrase came back to me: “Great talent admits shortcomings.” He’d spoken openly about the drug use of his youth and the habit that came back. He was truly a great talent. He was also a good and generous friend.
Because the profile was about Adams, it didn’t include the fond words she spoke of Hoffman during our interview. I went back and looked at the transcript and his name came up several times. At one point, I’d asked Adams about all the powerful actors she’s worked with in her career—some more than once—and she said: “I really love working with powerful men because I feel challenged and transported by their performance. And it allows me to create a reality in which I can get lost. Because I’m not method, so I kind of flip on and off. So when you’re working with someone who’s so present, it becomes like breathing. You don’t have to find your character. It exists through the relationship with the characters you’re working with. It’s a beautiful thing. Working with Joaquin [Phoenix] and Philip Seymour Hoffman is like that.”
I thought of the tired actor who worked all day on set and then reached out to a reporter not once, but twice, to support his friend. At the end of the call, he asked, “Did you get what you need?” At the time, I said yes. But now, we would all answer no.”
“There are certain emotions in your body that not even your best friend can sympathize with, but you will find the right film or the right book, and it will understand you.”
'Thinking about human energy', 2013
"One reason that I don’t look at my films again once they’re finished is because I’ve already learned from them what I’m going to learn and watching them over again doesn’t teach me anything. There’s a quote by the French poet Paul Valéry; he said, ‘a poem is never finished, only abandoned.’ You could edit a film for the rest of your life and still keep changing it and changing it, but at a certain point it leaves your hands and you send it off to military school, or whatever; it’s gone, it’s on its own, you know. You kick it out of the house and it’s gone, and it has to live in the world itself. I have a personal motto that it’s hard to get lost if you don’t know where you’re going. I really believe that intuition is the real guide. Therefore to me my work as a filmmaker is a process and there is no destination; it’s like the Buddhist saying, the path is the destination. I really feel that way. I loved it when they asked Kurosawa, when he was in his eighties, when would he stop making films, and he said, ‘as soon as I figure out how to do it.’ It’s very hard to say specific things you learn from each particular film, but the experience of making the films is the end result. And the film itself is something you kind of leave in your wake as the result of the process." — Jim Jarmusch
You don’t have to get a job that makes others feel comfortable about what they perceive as your success. You don’t have to explain what you plan to do with your life. You don’t have to justify your education by demonstrating its financial rewards. You don’t have to maintain an impeccable credit score. Anyone who expects you to do any of those things has no sense of history or economics or science or the arts.
You have to pay your own electric bill. You have to be kind. You have to give it all you got. You have to find people who love you truly and love them back with the same truth.
But that’s all.”
“What I want to talk about is how emotional outbursts typically more associated with men (shouting, expressing anger openly) are given a pass in public discourse in a way that emotional outbursts typically more associated with women (crying, “getting upset”) are stigmatized. I wish to dispel the notion that women are “more emotional.” I don’t think we are. I think that the emotions women stereotypically express are what men call “emotions,” and the emotions that men typically express are somehow considered by men to be something else. This is incorrect. Anger? EMOTION. Hate? EMOTION. Resorting to violence? EMOTIONAL OUTBURST. An irrational need to be correct when all the evidence is against you? Pretty sure that’s an emotion. Resorting to shouting really loudly when you don’t like the other person’s point of view? That’s called “being too emotional to engage in a rational discussion.” Not only do I think men are at least as emotional as women, I think that these stereotypically male emotions are more damaging to rational dialogue than are stereotypically female emotions. A hurt, crying person can still listen, think, and speak. A shouting, angry person? That person is crapping all over meaningful discourse.”
THIS! And this is why I think it is so important to reject the false binary of “logic vs. emotion.” We are taught to believe that what men think/feel/do = “not emotion” and what women think/feel/do “is emotion,” where “emotional” is a pejorative against women.